311 Bygone Tales From The Realm Of Sauron, by Infernal Legions Of Mordor

311 Bygone Tales From The Realm Of Sauron

by Infernal Legions Of Mordor

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Special Edition 311 Song Cassette
Cassette + Digital Album
Special Edition cassette housed in VHS clamshells, with 20 page zine and additional art.

Includes unlimited streaming of 311 Bygone Tales From The Realm Of Sauron via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.	Introduction: The Disgusting Stench of Burning Feces That Is Being Prepared to be Catapulted into the Castle as the Siege Commences 02:36	buy track
2.	I Own Guns to Protect Myself from Code Orange Fans 00:02	buy track
3.	Q Did 311 00:03	buy track
4.	I’m Gonna Fight Lars Ulrich 00:02	buy track
5.	DFW Metal Mayhem is mad I made fun of D&D, So I’m gonna do it again (D&D Is Dumb) 00:05	buy track
6.	The Fountain is a Really, Really, Really Bad Movie 00:02	buy track
7.	Straight Edge Hardcore Dudes Harm Women and Everyone Ignores it so they Can Keep Playing Mediocre Guitar Riffs 00:12	buy track
8.	My Favorite Part of Punk is the Only time I Hear from my “friends” is when they want something from me 00:04	buy track
9.	God Forbid, Hardcore Kids Do Anything Aside From Hardcore! What Posers! 00:04	buy track
10.	Colton From Reanimated Miscarriage is going to come to Texas and Fight Me 00:04	buy track
11.	How can I be a narcissist when I look like this??? 00:05	buy track
12.	I asked if my T-bell diarrhea sounded like Carcass or Impetigo vocals, when it was closer to Demilich vocals 00:09	buy track
13.	Balding and Fucked 00:01	buy track
14.	My life hasn’t been the same since I got a Gandalf hat 00:02	buy track
15.	I’m Gonna Fight Gene Simmons 00:01	buy track
16.	This years Tornado season will be the Midwest’s Punishment for Egg Punk 00:04	buy track
17.	Sacrifice Lumpy if you want to Avert This 00:03	buy track
18.	Take the Time By Dream Theater 00:05	buy track
19.	My Dangly Earring is a Personality trait right? 00:02	buy track
20.	What is this Venue’s Sword Policy? 00:02	buy track
21.	Dallas Metal Dudes and their collective Poop Fetish (The Ballad Of Eatin’ Like A Big Fella) 00:07	buy track
22.	Face It, You’re In An Egg Punk Band 00:03	buy track
23.	If I wanted an Angry Italian Man to yell at me, I would go to a sub shop instead of the Hank Wood Show 00:03	buy track
24.	Where does Target keep their Noise Tables? 00:12	buy track
25.	Punk Time is Dead and it is Buried in my Back Yard 00:03	buy track
26.	Being Gaslit for my Hatred of Raising Caines 00:02	buy track
27.	Goatmoon is Just racist Wintersun 00:04	buy track
28.	Opeth is what would happen if you made a Heavy Metal Harry Potter and also bad 00:04	buy track
29.	Unprecedented Levels of Dipshittery 00:02	buy track
30.	Infernal Legions of Mordor, The Pawn Stars of Noisecore 00:03	buy track
31.	I’m gonna fight Jimmy from Youtube 00:02	buy track
32.	Playing Hacked Up For Barbeque by Mortician is Work Appropriate, Right? 00:03	buy track
33.	I Payed a guy at a Ren Faire to Roast my Hobbit and now my Hobbit won’t go to the Ren Faire 00:03	buy track
34.	Support local business, especially when they allow me to bring my sword in 00:03	buy track
35.	That guy from Blood Incantation looks like a SciFi writer driven insane by the World He’s Created 00:04	buy track
36.	How many times will Bone Sickness follow and unfollow me on instagram 00:03	buy track
37.	My Combat Alchemist in the parking lot of an Egg Punk fest expelling a bad Potion 00:03	buy track
38.	Dallas Grindcore People Telling us we need to play a longer set 00:02	buy track
39.	That Feel when James LeBrie say “Carpe Diem, Seize the Day” 00:07	buy track
40.	Razorbumps is a rockabilly band, prove me wrong 00:06	buy track
41.	Hey, the Firefly Jayne Replica hat stays on during sex Okay??? 02:43	buy track
42.	Ending Friendships over Catan Trade Embargoes 00:02	buy track
43.	I’m Into Cynic and Atheist so you could say I’m a bit of a Jazz fan 00:03	buy track
44.	Rick And Morty Shirts are the New Fedora 00:01	buy track
45.	Hot Boxing Your Straightedge friend with CBD 00:01	buy track
46.	Only Two Whole Years Until the Next Season of Venture Bros (This Did Not Age Well) 00:03	buy track
47.	Writing off a Six Month Sword-Making Apprenticeship as a “Business Expense” on My Taxes 00:04	buy track
48.	Listen, Not Every Dumb Ass Statement You Make has to be a song title, and that's the song title 00:03	buy track
49.	Straightedge NoiseCore War Commando 00:02	buy track
50.	Kommand Was Better when they were called Hoax 00:01	buy track
51.	I now play this card to retain my virginity 00:11	buy track
52.	Mountain Dew where is my sponsorship??? 00:02	buy track
53.	Shitposting songtitles from this LP on facebook when I’m on the clock at work 00:03	buy track
54.	Without hesitation I will punish you about how and why you should be watching Venture Bros 00:03	buy track
55.	“Walk This Way” is the worst fucking song 00:01	buy track
56.	A.M.A.S.(All Men Are Simps) 00:02	buy track
57.	My Friend Ryan’s Mullet 00:01	buy track
58.	Hell Yeah Bruther 00:01	buy track
59.	Who’s the Bigger Nerds, us or Vault Dweller? 00:01	buy track
60.	Going to Ye Olde Pub instead of watching the bad local Metalcore band 00:03	buy track
61.	Bald Larry Got License Plates that say “Senpai” 00:01	buy track
62.	Dystopia is Skramz for Crusties 00:01	buy track
63.	I’m Gonna Whup Varg’s tabletop RPG playing ass 00:03	buy track
64.	Sitting on the porch of House of Tinnitus, sippin’ on Texas Cold Brew with Texas Mike 00:03	buy track
65.	8/19/19; the day Texas Mike came home 00:02	buy track
66.	Cool Beans let me play Cannibal Corpse over their PA 00:30	buy track
67.	You Play in a Psych Rock Band (No One Cares About the Stupid Visuals You Have to Accompany Your Boring Music) 00:04	buy track
68.	Dune is better than Star Wars 00:01	buy track
69.	The Butt Rock Song 01:09	buy track
70.	A 12 Gauge Shotgun Full of Our Lord’s Forgiveness 00:05	buy track
71.	Derik can only harm you if you know of him 00:03	buy track
72.	Mountain Dew Doesn’t Make Your Dick Shrink, I was Born With A Micropenis 00:03	buy track
73.	Taking a Mighty Push 00:02	buy track
74.	Maggot Stomp got that Pit Viper Sponsorship and that’s too cool to rip on 00:03	buy track
75.	Writing song titles at 4:20 AM on your day off because you’re on Some King Shit 00:03	buy track
76.	Hey 1919 can I have my money back? 00:01	buy track
77.	Oh Yes, Piss Off The Warlock 00:03	buy track
78.	If I crank the sharpness and contrast on my mediocre live concert photography everyone will love it 00:04	buy track
79.	Paying any amount of money for one of those Straight Edge watches is fucking stupid 00:03	buy track
80.	Getting Asked to Play More “Customer Friendly Music”, So I Put Mortiis On 00:02	buy track
81.	Yes I am an Admin on Metal Archives, and Yes I Talk to Women 00:11	buy track
82.	We Shitpost Better Than Cruelster 00:01	buy track
83.	Someone Once Called Me You Lord of the Rings Lookin’ Ass 00:02	buy track
84.	Noisecore is a better genre for Straightedge Liberation than Youth Crew 00:03	buy track
85.	Who is this mans selling Pornogrind and Polish Extreme Metal Bootleg Tapes to Recycled and not me? 00:04	buy track
86.	Pubic Floss is my favorite Ska band 00:01	buy track
87.	No wait, Natural Man is 00:01	buy track
88.	I went to a Noise show on 9/11 and all I got was a dollar 00:02	buy track
89.	No you don’t need a gun 00:01	buy track
90.	Tomb Mold is my new favorite Hypebeast streetwear brand 00:02	buy track
91.	I’m really happy Seth Putnam is dead 00:15	buy track
92.	Its Still Hilarious Josh from Anal Cunt died falling off an escalator 00:20	buy track
93.	Tim Morse got the shit kicked out of him 00:25	buy track
94.	Punks who cosplay as Darby Crash in 2020 are fucking stupid 00:02	buy track
95.	If I gather all of Dragon Ball Z on VHS, Shenron will appear to call me a Nerd 00:03	buy track
96.	Derailed Train Full of Decapitated Oogles 00:02	buy track
97.	Dumpster Diving for forbidden knowledge 00:01	buy track
98.	I Miss Oil Spill 00:11	buy track
99.	The Mullet That’s Supposed To Save The World 00:01	buy track
100.	Rest In The Arms of a Dragon 00:01	buy track
101.	Death Metal was a scam to sell longsleeve shirts 00:01	buy track
102.	Gun dudes that can’t cum unless their wife named Cindy is holding a Glock 7 Gen 3 to their bald spot 01:12	buy track
103.	Imagine risking exposure to COVD-19 to see a soundcloud rap show 00:03	buy track
104.	Tanking the Success of my Noise Rock Band by Coming Out In Favor of Driver’s Licenses 00:03	buy track
105.	The Mans With The Mortician Tramp Stamp Tattoo 00:02	buy track
106.	Oh god no, not another song sampling Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive 00:11	buy track
107.	Your Pop Punk has Breakdowns and Your browser is on a watchlist 00:02	buy track
108.	None of your gorram business that I’m writing a rutting noisecore song about firefly 00:03	buy track
109.	Firefly lasted longer than I do in bed 00:05	buy track
110.	Don’t open the docking port, you’ll let the Oboe in!!!!! 00:25	buy track
111.	River Tam will kill you with her mind 00:07	buy track
112.	VHS Collectors are Chill Ass Bros 00:02	buy track
113.	The world would be a better place if Cookout was a national chain 00:02	buy track
114.	You smell like you play in a grindcore band 00:05	buy track
115.	The Ballad of the Egg Punk Demo Cassette 00:53	buy track
116.	Simps pretend to like Death Metal to lay Pipe 00:02	buy track
117.	Your band has no riffs 00:01	buy track
118.	You Play in a D-Beat band 00:02	buy track
119.	Bodybag Darryl 00:04	buy track
120.	I was paid to take photos of an E-Girl, Take that 4chan 00:02	buy track
121.	Average time it takes for people to stop caring about an OSDM worship band that came out on 20 Buck Spin 00:04	buy track
122.	I, A 45 Year Old Man, Paid $100 to see David Yow Pull Out His Penis, not to talk bad about my President 00:05	buy track
123.	Amazing How White Drugs was the only Good AmRep Band 00:02	buy track
124.	Remembering when the drummer of Skeleton asked me if he should listen to Obituary 00:03	buy track
125.	We Bullied Taco Bell Into Bringing Back Potatoes on 311 00:03	buy track
126.	Ah yes, Jazz Fusion covers of Pokemon Route Themes 00:02	buy track
127.	Harsh Noise Wall track using my scrapped brake shoes 00:40	buy track
128.	I don’t “get” Noise says the person who likes 100 Gecs 00:17	buy track
129.	Playing Brainbombs at the function to weed out the weak friends 00:02	buy track
130.	Everyone is “we love and support you” until you threaten to castrate yourself with a sword your friend found in an alleyway next to a car with a broken in windshield 00:09	buy track
131.	This song is just an excuse to sample firefly 00:10	buy track
132.	Nice Gatecreeper shirt you stupid fucking poser 00:12	buy track
133.	“I Miss Going to Shows” says the sad nerd who sat outside during every band smoking American Spirits 00:04	buy track
134.	If your band sounds like American Football, I’m kicking your fucking ass 00:05	buy track
135.	I Want to Fight People That Wear Suits In Public 00:01	buy track
136.	Listening to Shadow Gallery to experience what Dream Theater would be like if they had a bass player 00:07	buy track
137.	Slint is just Korn but for nerds 00:15	buy track
138.	Okay, but what if I said I’ve never actually read Lord of the Rings 00:02	buy track
139.	Effortless Urination of Bright Yellow Pee-Pee 00:56	buy track
140.	We’re Destroying The Baby Right? 00:01	buy track
141.	The Darkest Magik 00:11	buy track
142.	Yautja is the funniest band in metal, and the most handsome 00:07	buy track
143.	Paying a Sex Worker to just Cuddle Me, I’m Lonely 00:03	buy track
144.	My Fetish is watching 30-40 Year Old Guys Imitate Steve Albini on stage in at a bar in Dallas, I cum all the time 00:06	buy track
145.	Assigned Cowboy at Birth 00:02	buy track
146.	All Hail Our Dork Lord And Master! 00:03	buy track
147.	Beware of Geeks Bearing Gifts 00:01	buy track
148.	Ancient...Evil...And Hungry 00:02	buy track
149.	Wizard Metal by The Numbers 00:01	buy track
150.	A harmless Giant from a Foreign Land 00:02	buy track
151.	Survival of the Thiccest 00:01	buy track
152.	Sizzler Buffet for the Sexually Deranged 00:02	buy track
153.	Yer Gonna Feel my Boot 00:01	buy track
154.	Meat Mountain, clogging toilets and arteries everywhere 00:03	buy track
155.	The Eye of the Shitstorm 00:34	buy track
156.	HOT GIRLS WITH SWORDS DOT COM 01:55	buy track
157.	Muffled Sounds Of Gorilla Violence 00:38	buy track
158.	Looking at your Dungeon Tan I can tell that you’re a fan of Mortiis 00:03	buy track
159.	Yeah, I’d get the Elf Ear Surgery 00:02	buy track
160.	Keep The Adidas High Tops Free Of Blood Lest Ye Summon The Eldritch God Kareem Abdul-Jabbar 00:06	buy track
161.	When The Reply Guys Swarm In 00:01	buy track
162.	I Saw Rusty From Mental Abortion’s Dick in Cabin Fever 2 00:03	buy track
163.	You Play in an HM2-Core band 00:02	buy track
164.	Onlyfans but It’s just Charles Knowles Whuppin' My Ass 00:18	buy track
165.	Thundersnow 00:01	buy track
166.	Rise and False Grind 00:03	buy track
167.	A Great Wizard, Ripping a Fat Bowl to Steely Dan 00:28	buy track
168.	Skinhead but Not By Choice 00:01	buy track
169.	Hanging out at the Ren Faire with my fellow ugly LARPers 00:07	buy track
170.	Noisecore for the Instagram Clout 00:02	buy track
171.	Dark HighwayMan, Encountered at Dusk upon his steed named Sempai 00:03	buy track
172.	Remembering when Sawblade threatened to strangle me when I was 19 00:02	buy track
173.	Getting fired from my job as a DJ at a bar for playing the Traci Lords Loves Noise Reissue on Breathing Problem 00:05	buy track
174.	I Got Cum All Over My Lone Wolf Audio Maggot Stomp Collab Distortion Pedal T-Shirt So I Ordered Another One 00:15	buy track
175.	Using the blood on the Eerified Catacomb cassette to make a clone of U.E. and have my own pet hypebeast nekro black metal machine 00:06	buy track
176.	Making fun of other bands to hide my rage that no one likes my band 00:03	buy track
177.	Smashing Your Head Into a Master Sword Replica After Laughing at How Stupid a New Infernal Legions of Mordor Song Is 00:05	buy track
178.	Having Gorenoise Tapes from Breathing Problem Productions Delivered to my Job 00:03	buy track
179.	Are you really vibing or are you just giving off deadly levels of ionizing radiation? 00:04	buy track
180.	We All Have Mustaches Now 00:04	buy track
181.	Mute The Sword 00:01	buy track
182.	We’re tall, you aren’t 00:01	buy track
183.	Oh, great, another band with Parker Lawson doing vocals 00:31	buy track
184.	Temporary Secretary by Paul McCartney started Egg Punk 00:02	buy track
185.	We Need More Death Metal Distortion Pedals 00:01	buy track
186.	Matt, “Peavey”, Perrin Has a Gun 00:01	buy track
187.	I Have A VHS Collection Instead of a Personality 02:02	buy track
188.	Kinkshaming someone for listening to Brainbombs 00:02	buy track
189.	A Horsedrawn Carriage Full Of Ass 00:01	buy track
190.	Buzzword Death Metal 00:01	buy track
191.	Who do I have to make fun of at the Dallas Observer to finally get them to notice us? 00:03	buy track
192.	What isn’t Beneath Tom G. Warrior’s Beanie 00:02	buy track
193.	Going to Tennessee to Finally Beat The Shit Out of ThrashHard08 00:03	buy track
194.	Infertile Hails 00:03	buy track
195.	Avantasia Wrote a Power Ballad about Incest 00:23	buy track
196.	Pickles Strutting His Noisecore Clout With A Trans Am 00:02	buy track
197.	How quickly will any of the guest performers on this regret being on this tape? 00:03	buy track
198.	Giant Ass Sword 00:01	buy track
199.	The Only Way to Escape the Grip of Longmont Potion Castle is Death 00:03	buy track
200.	This Skullet is a poor attempt to Cover This Red Neck 00:02	buy track
201.	Qui-Gon Epstein 00:03	buy track
202.	Deadbeat Disrocker Dad 00:01	buy track
203.	War Metal Gauntlet with a Rail of Blow 00:02	buy track
204.	Who is this Strange Man Who Entered my Keep with a garment that reads “RATLORD” 00:04	buy track
205.	Anal Cunt Song Titles that Unfortunately Live Rent Free in my Head 00:03	buy track
206.	Bald Larry Correcting me about the Avantasia Incest Song 00:42	buy track
207.	Highest Regarded Opinions of the Tech Death Guitar Player 00:02	buy track
208.	Black Metal Finsta 00:02	buy track
209.	Dr. Alican Koc 00:01	buy track
210.	Thank Fuck the Nerve in this Tooth Finally Died 00:02	buy track
211.	Consuming my slain enemy's heart for his courage, his brain for his intelligence, and eating his ass 00:04	buy track
212.	Getting Brain Juices all over my livestream Blood Incantation Shirt while getting A COVID Test 00:05	buy track
213.	You Play in a Perverse Homage Raw Black Metal Band 00:02	buy track
214.	There is a box in the back of my bedroom closet with Dollar Signs Drawn All Over it with Nothing but Mark Winter Demos In It 00:06	buy track
215.	A Trashbag Full of Blow to be Delivered to the War Metal Band 00:02	buy track
216.	We’re All Poseurs (Especially You) 00:01	buy track
217.	Allegiance Formed with Mountain of Smoke in the realms of Meatcraft 00:03	buy track
218.	Dick Armor 00:01	buy track
219.	Fully Erect Alchemist 00:01	buy track
220.	Your Aluminum Guitar Won’t Get You Into Heaven Anymore 00:37	buy track
221.	My Ass is a Furnace 00:01	buy track
222.	O Thank Thee, Guardian Of Metal 00:02	buy track
223.	You Listen to Discharge 00:03	buy track
224.	A Goblin Swinging a Sack Full of Quarters 00:06	buy track
225.	Great Another Smelly Asshole Who Thinks Video Violence is a Good Movie Telling me that Hereditary Sucks 00:04	buy track
226.	Charles Entertainment Knowles, Top Fan 00:59	buy track
227.	You Play Math Rock (And You Suck At It Too) 00:11	buy track
228.	You Told Me ‘Look Man, I Put Out Records And Tour’ But You Still Can’t Write A Riff 00:03	buy track
229.	Getting Targeted Ads for the Thicc AT&T Girl 00:02	buy track
230.	Razor Girl from Brutal Legend Based Sexual Fantasy 00:03	buy track
231.	If You’re Looking For Riffs in Contemporary Music and you Listen to Punk, I have Bad News for You 00:03	buy track
232.	You Listen to Death Metal (And You Smell Like It Too) 00:02	buy track
233.	I Got a Friend Request from the Guitarist of Devourment 00:02	buy track
234.	You Listen to Opeth 00:01	buy track
235.	Hanging out in the Alley Behind J&J’s with a bunch of Stupid Fucking Metalheads Listening to Celtic Frost 00:40	buy track
236.	Crust Fund Kids Saying they “Don’t Even Like Money!” All the way to Their Parent’s Bank 00:03	buy track
237.	Having to Wear a Diaper when you Listen to Disembowelment Because You keep Shitting Yourself 00:04	buy track
238.	Telling Pantera Fans the South Won’t Rise Again 00:30	buy track
239.	My Wizard Hat, Taking to the Wind, Revealing my Bald Spot to the World 00:02	buy track
240.	I Have my very Own Lime Scooter and a Sword, Fear My Whimsy 00:03	buy track
241.	Hitting The Character Limit On Bandcamp Song Titles 00:02	buy track
242.	Derik The Hobbit 00:36	buy track
243.	Imagine, If You Will, Rick Wakeman Wearing A Cape 00:02	buy track
244.	It Smells Like Loneliness In Here 00:01	buy track
245.	Explaining Anal Cunt To My Boss 00:01	buy track
246.	If You Enjoyed Watching The Movie Martyrs, You Are a Bad Person 00:10	buy track
247.	In Other News, I Made a Noise Musician Mad on Twitter 00:02	buy track
248.	This isn’t an Elf Cosplay, I Just Look Like This 00:02	buy track
249.	The Only Time Anyone Cares About When You Pick Up An Instrument Is When You’re Playing Cover Songs 00:03	buy track
250.	The Reviews Are In 00:32	buy track
251.	I Am a Late Game Boss That Is Hinted at for Two Thirds of the Game That Has a Rare One of One Loot Drop 00:04	buy track
252.	Matt “Peavey” Perrin Demands To Be Sponsored 00:33	buy track
253.	I Can’t Believe Sleep Made a Career Off of Ripping off Sweet Leaf 00:02	buy track
254.	Fremen for Vengeance 00:01	buy track
255.	How many of those Facebook Likes Did Your Band Have to Buy? 00:02	buy track
256.	Being a Gatekeeper fucking Rules 00:01	buy track
257.	Starving for a Thirst Trap 00:03	buy track
258.	Oh Good, The Blood Funnel 00:01	buy track
259.	At Night, My Eldritch Supercomputer Crawls Under The Covers For Warmth 00:03	buy track
260.	Selling My Punk Demos Before the Hype Dies Down and Getting Premium Prices on Discogs 00:15	buy track
261.	You Listen to Iced Earth 00:02	buy track
262.	Sometimes I Just Re-Read This List Of Song Titles, Not For Fun, But Because I Have Very Little Going On In My Life 00:05	buy track
263.	Fancy Delights ov the Void 00:01	buy track
264.	Someone Stop oyabun666 From Listing Every Punk Bandcamp Release on Discogs, No One Cares 00:04	buy track
265.	Frozen Soul Weightlifting in Eternal Champion Merch 00:02	buy track
266.	The Eldritch and Horrifying Mating Calls of the Denizens of 'Dega 00:35	buy track
267.	The Lasting Legacy Of The Aughts Punk Band That Put Out a Demo, an EP and Only Played Fests 00:04	buy track
268.	For Some Fucking Reason, I HAVE to be THE Most Metal Person at this Estate Sale 00:03	buy track
269.	Watching the Incel Uprising Tank The Stock Market 00:02	buy track
270.	Another Song Where We Use Our Favorite Word, Eldritch, In The Title 00:02	buy track
271.	You Play a PRS 00:01	buy track
272.	Pounding Beers With The Goblin 00:04	buy track
273.	Christopher Lee if you are out there and can hear me: please haunt me 00:02	buy track
274.	Keep Your Mage Hand Strong 00:01	buy track
275.	No One Asked Steven Wilson for Those Remixes 00:01	buy track
276.	Hypnotized by ANTIFA Temptresses 00:01	buy track
277.	Deep Within the Eternal Chambers of the Pizza Dungeon 00:02	buy track
278.	Unfriending me on Facebook Won’t Make Folk Punk Good 00:02	buy track
279.	I’m Gonna Fight Froggy Fresh 00:09	buy track
280.	Another Song to Flex Our Obscure Horror Knowledge by Sampling Bloodsuckers From Outer Space 00:15	buy track
281.	Punk Goes...Country 00:01	buy track
282.	It’s Always Sunn O))) In Philadelphia 00:02	buy track
283.	Fear is the Painkiller 00:02	buy track
284.	We’re Available on I Heart Radio 00:01	buy track
285.	You Listen to Comfy Synth 00:01	buy track
286.	Asking the owner of Recycled permission to (continue to) Haunt Recycled When I Die 00:10	buy track
287.	Sick Caveman Riffs 00:02	buy track
288.	I Would Die 1000 Deaths For Texas Michael, Esq 00:02	buy track
289.	Don't You Hate it When Assholes Break the Magickal Blood Seal 00:03	buy track
290.	I spit on your Graveland 00:05	buy track
291.	I am Not Pausing Neil Young to Listen to this 00:56	buy track
292.	Givin’ Them Ghosts A Show 00:01	buy track
293.	You Play In A Youth Crew Band 00:01	buy track
294.	True Black Metal (Traci Lords Loves Noise Cover) 00:55	buy track
295.	Your Grandma Doesn’t Need to Die Because You Couldn’t Wait to See Ruptured Goat Anus Gurgle About Sexual Assault 00:05	buy track
296.	Are You Aware of the Power of Shadows? 00:01	buy track
297.	Keep Your Blade Held Aloft 00:01	buy track
298.	I Screamed These Vocals Into A Sword 00:05	buy track
299.	Livin’ La Vida Don Vito 00:36	buy track
300.	Cockblocked by a Self Proclaimed Shaman 00:02	buy track
301.	You're Bleeding and I'm Tired 00:01	buy track
302.	You Listen to 80’s Yes 00:01	buy track
303.	We are Three Hundred and Three songs in, take a break, you’ve earned it weary traveler, You are almost there. 01:09	buy track
304.	(Where Did) N.T.S.B. Fuckin’ Go 00:20	buy track
305.	Automatically Spawned with Blade In Hand 00:01	buy track
306.	Townie Punks Fuck Off 00:01	buy track
307.	Oh Man, Your True Crime and Bondage Themed Power Electronics Bands Must Get You All The Girls Huh Champ? 00:05	buy track
308.	Anything Is A Musical Instrument If You Tape A Contact Mic To It, Duh 00:03	buy track
309.	Not To Get Political Or Anything But Absurd Fucking Sucks 00:03	buy track
310.	Wow, I really can't believe you have listened to this whole fucking Thing. Whatever sinks your ship 00:04	buy track
311.	Amber Is The Colour Of My Anime/The Closing Ceremonies 01:09	buy track

about

For two years, this album has festered and fermented, like last night's Taco Bell deep in your guts, now it is unleashed upon mankind. Three hundred and eleven songs featuring over 100 collaborators and artists coming together to construct a shitnoise master piece for the ages.

Cassettes coming from Left Hand Path Tapes soon.
Potentially 12" Lathes?

credits

released April 20, 2021

________________________________________________________
The Band:
Die Ført, Thy Enginner øv Chaøs: Drum Programming, various arrangements and guitar on 156 and 311
Thoros, The Foul Wizard of the Plains: Bass (Most of the time)
Infernal Commander, Lord Würm: Lead Vocals (Unless Specified), Bass (Some of the time), Sword and arrangements
________________________________________________________
Additional Musicians:
Alex Atchley: Synth (Track 1) & Lead Guitar (Track 311)
Mary Layne Million: Synth & Theremin (Track 1)
Cade Bundrick: Drums (Track 69)
Parky Lawson: Guitar (Tracks 69 & 227)
John Schiller: Synth (Tracks 155 & 156)
Jake Garlick: Synth (Track 303)
John Falvo: Synth & Programming (Track 157)
________________________________________________________
Lead Vocals:
Dr. Alican Koc: 3, 12, 16, 17, 23, 91
Charles “Entertainment” Knowles: 11, 40
Dylan Walker: 13, 20, 22, 27, 119, 137,142, 224, 246, 273
Pissant: 70, 166, 169, 216, 290
Pickles: 77, 114, 134, 174, 238
Parker Lawson: 183
Bad Sasha: 223, 257, 301
Matt “Peavey” Perrin: 252
________________________________________________________
Closing Chorus: Jayne Clark, Parky Lawson, Ryan Shockey, Dylan Walker, Good Boy Nick Nick. Savannah Locke, Will Mecca, Elaine Hubbard, Bald Larry, Zach P. Walker & Mokka
________________________________________________________
Spoken Word & Additional Vocals
Track 1: Al Rios, Alan Kantorik, Alex From Mutant Strain, Bad Sasha, Bald Larry, Bell Henderson, Benny Matthews, Billy Liebermann, Brad Cook, Brandon Young, Brit Allen, Cade Bundrick, Caleb Lewis, Character, Charles Knowles, Chelsea W., Connor MacKennon, Danny Castaneda, Daniel Mitchel, Dariel Hernandez, Drew Ailes, Dustin Pilkington, Dustin Jones, Dylan Walker, Elaine Hubbard, Eli Dagget, Fetal Egg Beater, Garry Brents, Glump Pickett, Greg Dickson, Greylord, Imperial Brad, Imran Syed, Jackson “Burnout” Boyd, Jacob Hellas, Jacob Morrison, Jake Garlick, Jake Mitchell, Jamie Salgado, Jayne Clark, Joey Generic, Jonathan Drake, Joose Banks, Judy Mitchell, Kevin Cellar, Kyle Pennington, Lauren Henson, Matt “Peavey” Perrin, Maxine Creed, Mekala Littleton, Mickey Holmes, Miguel Ángel Espinel, Mikah Peterson, Nathan Nick, Nick Gramsas, The Oracle of Assbeaters, Parker Lawson, Patrick Michot, Raymond Macdonald, Reese Alavi, Rhys Johnson, Rob Buttrum, Ryan Shockey, Samantha Mobley, Sarah McCracken, Savannah Locke, Savannah Sheerer, Sniz Banquette, Stefan Gonzalez, Taylor Vinson, Texas Mike, Tommy Rabon, Travis Minnick, Vincent Ciarlo, Will Mecca, Zach Palmer, Zachariah P. Walker
Track 7: Alex Atchley
Track 24: Savannah Locke & Donovan Ford
Track 41: Savannah Locke & Bald Larry
Track 51: Good Boy Nick Nick
Track 66: Jackson “Burnout” Boyd
Track 81: Brit Allen
Tracks 91 to 93: Liam Baker, Cade Bundrick, Dustin Jones, Donovan Ford, The Oracle of Assbeaters, Savannah Locke, Jayne Clark, Kim Clark, Good Boy Nick Nick, Derik Forbus & Ray MacDonald
Track 98: Imran Syed, Miguel Ángel Espinel, Patrick Michot, Elaine Hubbard, Charles Knowles
Track 102: Will Mecca & Ryan Shockey
Track 110: Parker Lawson
Track 115: Will Mecca, Savannah Locke, Ryan Shockey, Jayne Clark, The Oracle of Assbeaters, Joose Banks
Track 128: Savannah Sheerer
Track 155: Donovan Ford, Rhys Johnson, Will Mecca, & Savannah Locke
Track 156: Savannah Locke
Track 157: Sniz Banquette
Track 164: Charles Knowles
Track 167: Aaron Gonzalez
Track 187: Pickles
Track 206: Bald Larry
Track 226: Charles Knowles
Track 227: Parky Lawson
Track 235: Parky Lawson, Donovan Ford & Will Mecca
Track 238: Pickles
Track 242: Good Boy Nick Nick
Track 250: James Rowland
Track 286: Dale Jones
Track 291: Donovan Ford
Track 294: Savannah Locke
Track 303: Savannah Locke
Track 304: The Oracle of Assbeaters
________________________________________________________
Artwork (Bandcamp Only)
Jayne Clark - Cover Painting
Danni Parelman - Calligraphy
Will Mecca - Logo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Artwork (Cassette and LP)
Artwork
Jayne Clark - Cover Painting
Danni Parelman - Calligraphy & Back Cover Illustration
Will Mecca - Back Cover Photography & Collage
Charles W. Knowles - Photography (Back Cover)
Erica Young - Calligraphy (Hot Girls with Swords)
Hates - Collage
Morgan Smith - Booklet Illustration
Greylord - Booklet Layout
Collage Photographers:
Charles W. Knowles, Elaine Hubbard, Will Mecca, Dustin Jones, Oscar Cabral, Miguel Espinel, Texas Mike, Brit Allen, Alican Koc, Zach Palmer, Erin Devany.
Models - Caleb Lewis & Savannah Locke
________________________________________________________
Songwriters
Donovan Ford: 29, 47, 48, 104, 122, 123, 137, 144, 160, 174, 220, 228, 259, 262, 308
Rhys Kenneth Johnson: 70, 99, 100, 140, 141, 146-152, 219
Colton “The King of Noisecore” Pickles: 72, 96
Taylor Vinson: 107
Rubio Narcotico 167
Mokka 179
Parker Lawson: 110, 177, 239
Scott Bartley; 194
Alex Micallef 198
James K 201
Derik “The Hobbit” Forbus 221
Jonah Juarez 254, 284
Good Boy Nick Nick 244, 258, 289
Enrique Bonilla 263
Randall Minick 272
Madeline Carter 273
Elaine Hubbard 299
Miles DeBruin 311
Will Mecca: Everything Else
________________________________________________________
Track 69, Bass and additional things recorded at Cloudland by Dr. Rubio Narcotico
Tracks 155, 156, and about 40 others were recorded at Eureka Park by Donovan Ford
Tracks arranged by Donovan Ford & Will Mecca
________________________________________________________
Thanks to everyone involved in this for their patience and flexibility with this project. Thanks to everyone who offered ideas and helped me workshop this stupidity. This is for Jake Dunwoody and Calla Lee Hansen, I know you two would've gotten a giggle out of this hot stinking mess.

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