69 Ways To Ruin Your Life: The Words of the Venerated Texas Mike Pt 2 | Infernal Legions Of Mordor

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We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.

We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

69 Ways To Ruin Your Life: The Words of the Venerated Texas Mike Pt 2

by Infernal Legions Of Mordor

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	1.	bat with a nail in it 00:31		buy track
	2.	you can drive my truck, just don’t touch my stereo 00:02		buy track
	3.	revisiting an old idea: george w bush garfield drawing 00:03		buy track
	4.	marco polo but instead of saying marco/polo you say scully/mulder and you both close your eyes and run around in circles in a cornfield. 00:09		buy track
	5.	buy a motorcycle on credit 00:01		buy track
	6.	what’s the deal with wine??? what’s wrong with a nice can of piss?? 00:03		buy track
	7.	brainbombs but kermit voice 00:04		buy track
	8.	seeking elopement dot com 00:01		buy track
	9.	golden hour is the best hour to get drunk while pretending to read a book by the window 00:03		buy track
	10.	life is a three way switch for me. 00:01		buy track
	11.	he settings are “i want to die”, “i want to do something stupid”, and “i feel like god”. 00:04		buy track
	12.	next to the switch is a gas pedal and it’s just duct taped down. 00:06		buy track
	13.	a picture is worth one thousand words but getty images will only accept $USD 00:06		buy track
	14.	sitting outside the walmart that banned me in my car, exile on main st blasting, crying... all these deals passing me 00:07		buy track
	15.	what if i hit a couple dingers 00:01		buy track
	16.	never trust a smiling cat 00:01		buy track
	17.	big fan of the irish goodbye, sometimes you’ve just gotta wander off 00:02		buy track
	18.	face/off porn parody called jerk/off 00:01		buy track
	19.	had a dream i went to the jungle to die 00:02		buy track
	20.	my job at the chocolate factory is to contaminate everything with nuts 00:03		buy track
	21.	no matter how far an ass may travel, he will not return home a horse! Amen 00:05		buy track
	22.	mads mikkelsen teaches you how to tie your shoes ASMR 00:03		buy track
	23.	new meme style: you print it out and take a photo of yourself holding it. you become the meme. 00:04		buy track
	24.	new yolk 00:03		buy track
	25.	so a cop’s horse can shit in the street but when i try to it’s all like “you’re under arrest and i’m disgusted with you”?? 00:09		buy track
	26.	wilem dafoe mode 00:01		buy track
	27.	can you make me look like david koresh? 00:01		buy track
	28.	my hair is so fucked and curly rn i look like david koresh 00:02		buy track
	29.	i need a robot to give me a haircut 00:01		buy track
	30.	what if you also went to a barber to trim your pubic hair 00:02		buy track
	31.	on my hands and knees behind a running car rabidly huffing the fumes 00:04		buy track
	32.	busting in my camo pants. 00:01		buy track
	33.	this app has got me in a trance. 00:01		buy track
	34.	makes me do a dance. 00:01		buy track
	35.	look at me prance. 00:03		buy track
	36.	i love romance. 00:01		buy track
	37.	take my payment in advance. 00:01		buy track
	38.	god i love the internet 00:01		buy track
	39.	i actually wrote true detective season 1, that other guy took it from me 00:04		buy track
	40.	life’s hard but i’m not (i’m flaccid rn) 00:02		buy track
	41.	hell yeah i’m a member of the iron workers union, i lay pipe!! 00:04		buy track
	42.	if i die in a freak accident delete my drafts 00:07		buy track
	43.	lifting dumbbells in front of a banks front doors - no one is going to fucking bank today 00:05		buy track
	44.	what do you mean i’m under arrest?? this is a heat (1995) cosplay outfit! 00:04		buy track
	45.	british yoda 00:03		buy track
	46.	waging a war against my central nervous system today by lifting heavy weights 00:03		buy track
	47.	if you try to surprise me after 8pm i hope you like being struck with force 00:04		buy track
	48.	sun’s going down so put on neil and put that fly fishing rod away 00:04		buy track
	49.	socially distanced blowjob 00:02		buy track
	50.	the first title is about the sexuality of the free market. 00:02		buy track
	51.	wish i could just wear coveralls all day and hangout in a studio fucking around 00:03		buy track
	52.	leave the gun, take the ravioli 00:01		buy track
	53.	hot dog stand but they sell expensive stationary (no hot dogs) 00:03		buy track
	54.	the doors but they’re polish 00:01		buy track
	55.	keanu sex scene in cyberpunk was a letdown - no hog visible. 00:04		buy track
	56.	i’m sick and i have a bad case of the farts 00:02		buy track
	57.	a penis is like a small t-shirt cannon 00:02		buy track
	58.	hey yeah can i get an xfile? 00:02		buy track
	59.	jeff dunham and ray romano hold guns to each others heads 00:02		buy track
	60.	official brainbombs etsy 00:01		buy track
	61.	us soldier captured by enemy and forced to eat papa john’s pizza 00:03		buy track
	62.	proof about the pyramids if anyone’s interested in how they were built 00:03		buy track
	63.	this is a posting spree and i will not be stopped 00:02		buy track
	64.	catholic school teacher wearing a burzum shirt 00:02		buy track
	65.	i’m in the yard listening to undergang, smashing rocks with a hammer. 00:02		buy track
	66.	i need someone to take me to the hospital asap 00:32		buy track
	67.	i’m shadowbanned from krate for rating an oasis album 1 star 00:03		buy track
	68.	please send gold 00:01		buy track
	69.	this one’s for you (whoever’s reading this): keep it up, i believe in you! 00:17		buy track

about

On 9/11, the Son of Desert Storm Speaks. Culled from their fantastic crop of online darkspeak comes a new 69 song EP.

credits

released September 11, 2021

Texas Michael Esq - Songwriting, Additional Hoots & Hollers
Die Fort, Thy Engineer of Chaos - Drum Programing & Recording
Lord Wurm - Vocals and Arrangements

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Infernal Legions Of Mordor Denton, Texas

Leading the charge

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